Plan a date once each week. Romance each other like you did in the beginning. Tip: Don’t talk about any of your relationship problems or it will become hard work.
Plan on a relationship meeting once a week. Discuss relationship issues, make important decisions and resolve any conflicts. Tip: Agree on an agenda and be on your best behaviour to really hear each other.
Avoid reasons to argue. Discuss and make difficult decisions so you don’t have to keep going over the same issues. Tip: Plan on a schedule for weekly household chores so no one has to act like a cop. Set a budget and pay bills by stop orders at the beginning of the month so you don’t have to keep deciding how to pay bills.
Practice ‘active listening’, repeating back your partner’s statement of concern until they feel heard and understood. Then take your turn to make your own statements on the topic. Tip: Take turns in discussions rather than jumping in on the other’s comments. Slow the discussion down and focus on listening rather than arguing.
Don’t use hyperbole–extreme language–in your discussions. Example. “You always…”, “You never…”, “That is the worst…”. Tip: Extreme language shifts the focus of your partner onto finding the exceptions to your absolute statement rather than to hearing your core concerns. Example. “I don’t always …. Last week I ….” or “I sometimes….” Now your concern is lost.